Rejection

re·jec·tion

  noun \ri-ˈjek-shən\

Definition of REJECTION

 

1

a: the action of rejecting : the state of being rejected

b: an immune response in which foreign tissue (as of a skin graft or transplanted organ) is attacked by immune system components of the recipient organism

 

2

: something rejected

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rejection

 

 

So, I was going to write a post about how my interview at an Ivy League school went, and I did not get around to do it. Funny, when things are going well we do not feel the pressing urge to write and make sense of them. We need to write when we have a hard time wrapping our heads around a painful experience.

The interview went great. I came back feeling as if I had been to a very good date. Everything was just right. Perhaps the only thing to overcome was the feeling that I was there by some kind of mistake. And while that is still a question I have (was I just filling the spot of the alternative candidate?), I did feel that the experience alone was worthwhile. I am grateful for it.

But now, minutes ago, I just got the news that "I did not make the short list" for the place where I currently work. Again, I had to hear: "Sorry but there were people with publications in Nature and Science". Alright, I get it. In fact, I got that point a while back (http://palodelimon.blogspot.com/2011/12/life-is-bitch.html).

But it is that rejection physically hurts (now we have the studies to know that http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/fashion/is-rejection-painful-actually-it-is-studied.html). And rejection makes us wander about what is true about ourselves.

I was telling my students the other day that we are often subject to the self-serving bias ("I am better than average") and that turns out to be a rather healthy thing. Otherwise we are more likely to become depressed. A little but of unrealistic optimism does not hurt us, it helps us.

But what is the right measure?

So far I have gotten only rejections, one amazing interview, and silence, as I am still "waiting to hear" from a couple of places.

Now the challenge is to not join in and reject myself. I won't.

I accept me. I accept my choices so far and I know what I am capable of doing. Let's see where I end up doing it. It is a matter of where and when, and not a question of whether I will.