Where are Mommy and Daddy?

This posting is about the financial meltdown. I just came to understand that the biggest problem with the deregulation that was pursued by neo-liberal policies during the last 20-30 years was a silly adolescent identity crisis.
The fear of having a large tentacled government regulating "my unlimited ability to create wealth" (and therefore sabotaging the American dream of having a Mac Mansion, a heated garage and designer fashion) crashed in everyone's faces as it turned out that without a Mommy/Daddy-like governmental regulation we don't really regulate ourselves. There are theories of moral development that explain this (see Kohlberg's). We need to learn social rules from our parents. Our parents need to teach us not only what the social rules are, but also how to self-regulate. The economic crisis that has devastated the US and therefore the rest of the world is an example of how Machiavelli has always been right.
We need a parent-like government that takes care of us. But that does not mean that we are not co-responsible of our own actions. We need to be responsible citizens and unlike a bad parent that we cannot vote out, we can vote our government in every four years.
So, what is the bottom-line problem according to me? We don't want to grow up. We want to continue thinking that "someone else" will take care of that. Particularly, if by "that" we mean balancing local and statewide budgets, creating jobs, taking care of poverty and all its problems, etc, etc, etc.

A trainful of douches...

First, I would like to state, that the word "douche" seems to be "ok" to general audiences as its usage has increased in the last year on t.v.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/14/business/media/14vulgar.html?_r=2&hp

So, lately, I have been using NJ transit trains more often that I had before. I have to go to NYC and the quickest way is to use a train. Now, our town is the first one in a string of towns in Bergen County, NJ, where apparently the gross income per capita is one of the highest in the country (http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/34/34003.html old facts now, but a reference).
In any case, I have noticed that when I board the train everyone is sitting by themselves, even though the seats could seat two or three people. And oddly enough, everyone has placed a bag, computer case, or similar item right next to them blocking the seat immediately next to them.
WTF?
So I have to walk an unnecessary amount of train car to find a place to seat.
Do these people pay for the two seats? Do these people realize that they are on a collective space? Do these people realize that the "mass" in mass transportation means that more people will be riding with you?
I have no choice but to think that they are douche bags. Women, men and young douche bags.
They think they are cool because they don't drive into the city (thank you for not screwing the planet further!) but they are so cool that they cannot sit next to you commoners.
As far as I am concerned, anyone can sit next to me, you know why? because I rode the subway almost exclusively for for 5 years and before that I rode in buses in Costa Rica for 25. I have smelled, felt and seen all kinds of people as I transported myself to where I needed to go. And that is ok, because we are born in a planet full of people.
Wake up upper Bergen County douche bags!

Fear to exist- Miedo de existir

When I am able to take two steps away and see it, then I can tame it. But most of the time it just lurks in my operational self and directs what I do or don't do. Mostly what I don't do. It is the fear that whatever I want or should do will make me unwanted or labeled as mischievous. So I don't write that e-mail because I feel the repercusions. What if they say no? What if someone gets mad at me? And I don't write postings on this blog, or anywhere because what if I compromise my privacy? what about my family's well being? (which could be somehow compromised by me expressing my thoughts freely).
So, in essence, this is a fear of existing as I am inside of my head and heart. And that, ladies and gentlemen, I don't post more often to this blog. I am still finding my Lime Tree and yet, it is here for me to climb.

More language envy...

I read a friend's blog the other day... ah the wit! the humor! the perfect correlation between words and meanings, the perfect rhythm, the whole was good as well as its parts. Not only that, my friend writes her blog with her husband.... Ah the greatness of collaborative efforts.
I have been neglecteing this little blog of mine, where I bitch and try to make sense. More writing perhaps will bring more writing. Hopefully I won't be so envious.

About Sonia

So what if Sonia Sotomayor's experiences affect the way she reads and enacts the law? And by posing this question I am not dismissing the interference of personal background in the rational thinking of people. Quite the opposite. It is only through the study and understanding of one's background and psychology that it is possible to see, declare and adequately channel our emotions and passions towards certain topics or causes.
I just heard Rush Limbaugh speak and say that Sonia Sotomayor is a racist. P-lease. My visceral reaction comes from the disgust with people that are uneducated about bias and therefore bias the thinking of the masses. Sadly Limbaugh has a wide access to "the masses". His role is the opposite of that of an educator. An educator presents thesis and antithesis and allows students to make their own conclusions. An educator says "I believe in this and that" but you are free to make your own conclusions.
To say that Sotomayor has a bias because she is Latina and to ignore that other justices have a bias because they are Anglo-American or Italian-American is to insult the intelligence of people.
And yes, I am biased towards Sotomayor because her story reminds me of my own story. And I have no problem acknowledging this. Now, this would be a bias only if I pretend it doesn't exist. But since I am making it explicit, I can deal with it. If I were in the position to select Sotomayor to the court, or if I were to ask questions in the confirmation hearings, then I would need to compensate my position with that of others that my not have my same bias. This is the old process through which science deals with its own biases, through peer review.
It is sad to see arguments like this one (bias and rational thinking, how they interact, etc) dumbed down to a caricature. Does J-Lo like tight clothes? will she wear them to her next social event? Those are not the relevant questions...

Fearless and... sin miedo!

Ok, the cat is out of the bag, se acabo la cosa. Tengo que tomar posesion (con tilde) de este blog. I have waited to long, and been way to cautious about my writing. This is where I live. Aqui vive Valky, en la era digital, that is. Un menjurje de cosas que es lo que soy. Let's see how it goes...

PS: Sorry but it has come the time to think outloud and I think in Spanish and English

PS: Todos los que puedan leer este blog son bilingues, estoy casi segura.

On Solidarity

Dear Friend, if you are my friend and therefore you want to make me feel comfortable around you and around myself as well, show solidarity please. When I say "such and such was not nice with me" you should say: "Oh, that wasn't nice of him/her". When I say "I think I made a mistake when I did this or that" you say: "that wasn't that bad". And believe me, I am not asking you to lie to me. I will always like to know the truth, no matter how painful it is. And yes, I am a bit stinky, and yes, I am a bit slow in reacting to things, and yes, I could be more organized, persistent, etc, etc. But please do not tell me the "truth" right away. Let me feel that when I am with you I am safe. Feeling safe is very important for me. Please let me first feel safe. Then you can tell me how I make mistakes. If you are my friend, you have deep and vast knowledge of who I am and how I react to things. I can learn about myself from you. I like that. I am just asking you to be empathetic first, and critical later.

Relentless

That was my friend's advice. "If you want to get this thing done, you have to become relentless". The words don't go away, and even though I am not sure about the full meaning of the word relentless, I feel that it means "without excuses and without apologies". This was a very helpful piece of advice. There is a mind set that is necessary in order to accomplish something. From baking those cookies late at night, when you are feeling tired and sleepy, to thinking through the implications of your dissertation research and how people might perceive it. It is a very good thing that the stars are in my favor. This is the Chinese year of the Ox. Oxen are know for their strength and tenacity. I will, from now on, become an ox.