Wednesday, March 11, 2009

On Solidarity

Dear Friend, if you are my friend and therefore you want to make me feel comfortable around you and around myself as well, show solidarity please. When I say "such and such was not nice with me" you should say: "Oh, that wasn't nice of him/her". When I say "I think I made a mistake when I did this or that" you say: "that wasn't that bad". And believe me, I am not asking you to lie to me. I will always like to know the truth, no matter how painful it is. And yes, I am a bit stinky, and yes, I am a bit slow in reacting to things, and yes, I could be more organized, persistent, etc, etc. But please do not tell me the "truth" right away. Let me feel that when I am with you I am safe. Feeling safe is very important for me. Please let me first feel safe. Then you can tell me how I make mistakes. If you are my friend, you have deep and vast knowledge of who I am and how I react to things. I can learn about myself from you. I like that. I am just asking you to be empathetic first, and critical later.

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