Time well spent

Every day I spend a considerable amount of time and energy just convincing myself that I am not crap. There, I said it.
This is costing me a whole lot. At 40 one would thing that things like these should have been solved. If not from sheer age and experience perhaps from years in psychotherapy, which I need to restart by the way.
Is it really true that early attachment styles determine the way you interact with people in the future? I will take any excuse available to blame my parents for my present ordeals.
The strategy right now is to "spend time doing productive things" and of course "relax". Unfortunately the last reinvention effort did not work well in terms of bringing a durable job. I wonder if I should do more in the networking area... I have been working in a small hole, interacting with people that are not very connected themselves. I now need to move forward to better and more interesting things.
And perhaps this is where the ultimate problem lies. I need to not be afraid of making mistakes.
When I was little (did I tell you this one already? I think I did) I would sit in front of a white sheet of paper with all of my coloring pencils not knowing "what was the right thing to do". Therefore I did nothing. I have been fighting this for years but perhaps now is the time to go for it. I should just color whatever I think is right and thicken my skin for the consequences.
I will be spending my time doing productive things.

Some inspirational music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxxajLWwzqY