MAMA

It is hard to write the word any other way. Momma does not seem right, Mamma reminds me of pizza. This is one of the first words we learned to read and write in Costa Rica during the 70's. It does have an accent, Mamá.
Being that I became a mother here, I often go by "Mom". Joaquin sometimes calls me "Mamacita" but it is only to make sure that he will get the sure to follow request granted.
It is so hard to be a mother, but for none of the reasons that people often think.
It is not the juggling of chores, the very little personal time, or the hard work of educating decent, caring, citizens of the world. Those are hard, but that is not the hardest thing.
What I find very hard is to have this different perspective. Once you have children, everything changes. I was never afraid of dying, but now I am. My children need me. I was never afraid of being sick, but now I am. My children need me. I was used to taking chances, (how would I be where I am otherwise?) But now, I don't want to risk, I don't want to loose. Having something to loose changes everything.
The world is a scarier place too. You spend time calculating the odds, separating irrational from rational fears.
I had a happy "Mother's Day". But all of my days are happy. In spite of the fear, the stress, the yelling (me), the not listening (them), I feel unbelievably blessed. And perhaps this is one of those posts that states the obvious. But I think that there are things that cannot be overstated. Like the kiss that I give my children every morning before they go to school, or at night before they go to bed. I am not skipping those. It is in the continuous reaffirmation that true love exists. That is the eternal quality of love, not based on its creation, but in its constant recreation. I love my children and I love being a mother.  Perhaps I am bitching about how hard it is to be selfish, to not care.
I still think we should all get a course and a test before having children, just like before getting a driver's license. We don't know what we are getting ourselves into (see questions below). The most convincing argument in favor of same sex marriage, or same sex parenting, is the fact that nobody else is checking heterosexual parents. And some people should not marry or have children, regardless of their sexual orientation (I am thinking about you Duggars...).

Parental License Test
Some questions to pilot...

1. Do you smoke?
2. Do you drink? How often? Do you know of the benefits of moderated drinking?
3. How do you react to sleep deprivation?
4. How much is a package of diapers (40 count)?
5. Who will take care of your child while you work? How will being a parent will impact your job?
6. Have you read the research on parenting styles?
7. Have you read the latest research on brain development?
8. Do you know the state approved curriculum for the school that your child will attend?
9. Do you know which school will your child attend? How is its performance measured?
10. Do you know the expected price of tuition for the time when your child might attend college?
11. How will you pay for college?
12. What do you know about sexual orientation choices?
13. Do you know that children pay full fares on plane tickets?

Just some of the top of my head....Feel free to add...